I was heading north on Highway 16 today and--don't ask me how--actually managed to notice one of the billboards. Odder yet, it was, I gather for some sort of investment and/or money management service--which normally consist of a portrait photo and a message intended to soothe the lizard brain--yeah and verily, even give it a warm, flat rock to snooze on.
In today's case, the billboard had the former down, but the slogan, "Schedule an appointment for your finanoscopy." (Note: I may be slightly misquoting that, because my brain was--I'm sorry to say--pretty much evenly split between being a responsible driver and "Wait...what?...Seriously?!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but any word ending with "oscopy" pretty much implies that something cold and metallic will be inserted, well, somewhere the moon don't shine, y'know? At that point, why not just work in a mammogram meme just for the ladies, while you're at it?
But the point here is not to ridicule a local advertising effort--really, it's not. The point, rather, is to emphasize the power--and, thus, responsiblity--of metaphor. If, indeed, this chapter in the history of marketing is All About "storytelling" rather than data--because Cthulu forfend that the average consumer be asked to blow the dust off her/his left brain--then metaphors need to be chosen with the utmost and scrupulous care. Namely because when you try to attach yourself to something, it, by definition, attaches itself to you.
