Frivolous Friday, 02.26.2010: Intellectual exercise at the gym

(Credits: Tonight I'm borrowing the concept and sometimes-straight-up-sometimes-sarcastic style of the "Oh, The Things I Know!" posts on the unapologetically left-leaning political blog DailyKos. After ~90 minutes of walking, stretching, biking and bouncy skiing, here are some of "the things I know.")

• Having TVs in the gym would be more effective if pedaling/walking faster would fast-forward through commercials and pre-game shows.
• It says much about our progress as a culture when a Friday Night Fight (SpikeTV) ends with dudes who were trying to pound the snot out of each other hugging after the winner is declared...and the loser kissing the winner on the top of the head.
• I'm convinced that more people than admit it watch the Winter Olympics for the same reason people go to the circus--namely, to see someone buy it.
• If Joy Behar thinks she's holding her piece of TV ground against upstart internet entertainment by obsessing on the lewd and vapid, I've got news for her: The internet's going to win.
• (That being said, the reason I get the overwhelming majority of my news and entertainment via the internet is because I have considerably more control over the level of lewdness and inanity I find there.)
• States in the Upper Midwest must receive three times the snowfall of New York City for it to receive national news attention.
• Purdah as practiced in other parts of the world has nothing on my gym's version: There, the genders (mostly) don't even share the same dimension. I know this because there are fourteen locked lockers in the women's changing room and I'm the only other chick in the place.
• When a guy works out by himself, it's a whole-body thing; when guys work out together, jaw muscles get the lion's share.
• When you neglect to fully clamp down the recline bike's seat and then pedal fast, the slight rocking almost achieves a "magic fingers" effect.
• Some machines display metric heart-rate, but no one can tell me the conversion formula.
  
• The difference between humans and hamsters is that humans pay for the privilege of alternating between running in place and drinking from oversize bottles. That and humans don't look nearly as adorable (or happy) munching sunflower seeds.
  
• When brain and body don't want to be in the same place, odd blog posts are born.