Legislatures would be replaced by "standards committees" with term limits imposed via the amount of free pizza, Mountain Dew, Cheetos and Pocky provided on the taxpayer nickel.
Green-bar toilet paper: 'Nuff said.
International disputes would start as flame-wars over operating systems, programming languages/methodologies, and which "Star Trek" series was the best. Major disputes would be settled with WoW raids. Minor disputes would be resolved by simple D20 rolls.
Spamming would be punishable by death. Internet trolls would face a fate even worse than death: Being banned from the internet for life.
The Statue of Liberty would bear a suspicious resemblance to one of the following:
- Sarah Michelle Gellar
- Gates McFadden
- Felicia Day
- Carrie Fisher
- Jewel Staite
- Lucy Lawless
- Jeri Ryan
- Claudia Christian
- Gina Torres
- Katee Sackhoff
- Terry Farrell
- Kari Byron
The jobs of lawyers, executives, senior bean-counters, stock-brokers, commodities traders, (non-satirical) political talking heads, and investment bankers would be off-shored to the lowest-bidding contractors.
"2.0," "2.1," "2.2," etc. would be legal names for children. After they're born, anyway. (Any self-respecting geek will, of course, have a cool-sounding project name for the child before its "release date.")
The "I'm a PC" and "I'm a Mac" guys would be required to finally settle the question in gladitorial-style combat...with bat'leths.
Ridiculous names for paint and makeup colors (e.g. "Derby Red," "Dusty Lilac," "Tropic Sunset") would be replaced by simple hexadecimal codes. (I mean, is a paint labeled "#FF1122" gonna look any different on the wall? I don't think so.)
Hollywood would stop insulting our intelligence by referring to a "T3" line when it's clearly a CAT-5 cable (The X-Files). Or referring to "parsecs" as a unit of time (Star Wars, Episode IV). Or showing 12 year-olds effortlessly hacking UNIX systems with velociraptors breathing down their necks (Jurassic Park). Or implying that the natural result of mixing acidic and alkaline solutions is an explosion (The Simpsons). (Hey, if the writers didn't pay attention in science class, it's their problem, not ours!)
Household appliances would be controlled with joysticks and/or remotes. (For Mac programmers: Everything in the house would be controlled by gelatinous-looking buttons...and the handle for flushing the toilet would be conveniently located inside the medicine cabinet.)
GenCon and ComicCon would be universal holidays--not unlike the entire month of August in France. Halloween would become one giant LARP-fest.
The tombstones of Windows programmers would be rectangular, landscape-oriented, painted blue, and engraved with the image of Clippy: "You seem to be decomposing. Would you like help with that?"
Tax forms would be filled out as Soduku puzzles.
