(In case that it's not immediately obvious a couple seconds from now, there's a whole lot o' sarcasm going down here.)
- First and most importantly, make sure you're the programmer who complains most loudly about the existing system being a "waste of time," with the "proof" being your passive-aggressive, obstructionist "use" of it.
- While you're at it, also make sure that, were it a contest, you'd be voted "Programmer Least Likely to Comment Her/His Code."
- After considering exactly zero input from your co-workers, find a tool on the internet that seems to best suit your notion of "How things should be done around here."
- Install it on the local network.
- For pete's sake, don't actually test it!
- Create user accounts for everyone.
- Set the software to spam everyone every time you do something that "involves" their account.
- With neither heads-up nor--perish the thought!--documentation, launch the software in prime-time.
- Sit back and watch your co-workers drop everything to help your project succeed.
(Okay, seriously now.) The takeaway for both programmers and non-programmers: It's not the technology that matters, it's the underlying real-world relationships modeled by the technology in question. If you've spent years blowing off those relationships...well...don't be surprised if the Field of Dreams premise doesn't quite work out.
