I owed a former colleague a couple of favours--one of them definitely outsized--dating from more than a decade back. Fortunately, (most) favours don't accrue interest, but when the opportunity came this week to pay one of them back, I was more than pleased.
Alas, "repayment" involved the squirmy discomfort of having to give a thumbs-down review of an interviewee. (I don't like to see anyone stay unemployed, but...daaaaaaaang...) Worse, I'm almost certain that the review was ignored as soon as it was out of my mouth. Which means that a few months (weeks?) hence I'll have to put on my "adult professional" hat and keep the "Neenerneener--told you so!" to myself.
That's when I realised how different "paying it back" can be from "paying it forward." Namely, there's significantly more leeway with the latter. Often the timing and even the coin itself are left to the debtor. That's more than likely why paying it back feels so much more legitimate.
Don't get me wrong--I'm thrilled to (finally!) scratch one off the accounts. I'm never comfortable with debt, monetary or otherwise. Besides, having something to offer can be pretty darned validating. Pretty much any tight-knit community (business, recreational, or otherwise), runs on trust--on which the exchange of favours is of course predicated.
But I suppose the whole uncomfortable experience provides an extra incentive to up my game on the "paying it forward" half of the equation, right?
