When we learned the "There's a Hole in my Bucket" song in 6th grade, the boy's name was Georgie, not Henry. (Chalk one up for unorthodox education.) Even at the time, I thought the song ridiculous and reverse-sexist (because Henry's a right dolt), and I haven't changed my mind in the intervening thirty years. But the meme and tune have been stuck in my head since noon today and show no sign of leaving. So, to ape Marshall Crenshaw, I've suffered for my art: Now it's your turn.
There's a flaw in our process, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a flaw in our process, dear Liza, a flaw!
So fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it,
But how shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
But how shall I fix it, dear Liza, fix it?
Walk the floor, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Walk the floor, dear Henry, dear Henry, walk it.
But what should I look for, dear Liza, dear Liza,
But what should I look for, dear Liza, look for?
Small details, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Small details, dear Henry, dear Henry, details.
But how shall I note them, dear Liza, dear Liza,
But how shall I note them, dear Liza, note them?
With your smartphone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With your smartphone, dear Henry, dear Henry, smartphone.
But how do I upload, dear Liza, dear Liza,
But how do I upload, dear Liza, upload?
By email, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
By email, dear Henry, dear Henry, email.
My inbox will fill up, dear Liza, dear Liza,
My inbox will fill up, dear Liza, fill up!
Then filter, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then filter, dear Henry, dear Henry, filter.
By what rules should I filter, dear Liza, dear Liza,
By what rules should I filter, dear Liza, filter?
Your objectives, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Your objectives, dear Henry, dear Henry, objectives.
But how do I set them, dear Liza, dear Liza,
But how do I set them, dear Liza, set them?
A task force, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
A task force, dear Henry, dear Henry, task force!
But how can I guide them, dear Liza, dear Liza,
But how can I guide them, dear Liza, guide them?
A process, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
A process, dear Henry, process.
But there's a flaw in our process, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a flaw in our process, dear Liza, a flaw!
. . .
