Friday, March 19, 2010

Frivolous Friday, 03.19.2010: Programmer bar jokes

Internet Explorer 6 walks into a bar and orders a drink. “I’m a little short on cash right now,” says IE6, “can I just start a tab?” “Nice try,” says the bartender.

A pre-1901 UNIX timestamp and a post-2038 UNIX timestamp walk into a bar and ask, “Has anybody seen our dates?”

A foo() walks into a bar()...

A gang of signed integers walks into a bar full of unsigned integers. After a minute, the bartender notices the subdued vibe in the place and wonders, “Whoa, where did all this negativity come from?”

An HTML FRAMESET walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender grabs a bottle of the most watery “lite” brew in the place, shakes it vigorously, pours the foam into a glass, and hands the glass to the FRAMESET, who disgustedly asks what the bartender means by that. “Duh, you’re a FRAMESET,” says the bartender. “You’re only supposed to have a HEAD and no BODY.”

A recursive function walks into a bar and asks to use the phone. “Local call?” asks the bartender. “Of course,” says the function...and dials its own cellphone number.

A group of sorting algorithms walks into a bar. The bartender hands them menus, and returns after they’ve pored over them for minutes on end. “Well?” he demands. The rest of the algorithms point at the bubble sort: “Sorry, he’s always slower at ordering than we are.”

A byte walks into a bar. “Are you ill?” asks the bartender. “No,” says the byte, “just feeling a bit off.”

Eight bytes walk into a bar. “Can I do anything for you?” asks the bartender. “Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Linus Torvalds walk into a bar. “What is this?” demands the bartender, “A joke?”